Rain and Lowes

so yesterday it was raining and i went to Lowes with a friend. i had just run from the car to the covering outside the door and i was taking off my glasses to dry them off, as glasses and rain dont go well together.

and so i look up as im cleaning off my glasses and this old man and i make eye contact and he starts laughing at me.

i dont think anything about cleaning my glasses is particularly funny so i assume that something else is wrong with me so i look down and everything appears to be normal, so i look back up again, and hes still laughing at me.

not knowing what to do i just give him an awkward smile and walk into the store reallly slowly, which probably didnt help my attempt at looking normal or stop him laughing...

Buy You a Drank

so the other day i was at Bskis with a few friends after playing some frisbee golf. cool thing about Bskis right now is that they have one of those super awesome new drink machines with like "100 different types of soda" and have named it something that seems hip like "coca-cola freestyle."

so all my friends have bought sodas and are deciding what to get, and im watching, since its this kinda cool touch screen thing and its pretty cool to watch.

this dude standing next to me also thought it was pretty cool, and then he decided to film people making their decisions of soda. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V-yphI7JPk similar to this guy only louder and more excited. ps. its like 1am at this point) so i am standing watching him film my friends make their drink choices and then he turns to me and is like "why arent you getting anything??"

not really expecting this person who is filming strangers choose sodas to talk to me i mumble bunch of excuses, one of which being that i dont have my wallet. so he stops filming for a moment to take out his wallet and is like "heres 2 dollars!" and tries to hand me 2 dollars.

i feel kind of uncomfortable with some random dude waving 2 dollar bills at me in the middle of a restaurant so i keep trying to respectfully decline this offer. also, all of my friends have sat down at this point. however, he wont take no for an answer, so he walks up to the counter and buys me a fountain drink.

so i am standing alone in front of this drink machine, in the middle of this restaurant feeling very strange about this whole thing while some dude buys a fountain drink for me so that i too can experience the magic that is the coca-cola freestyle drink machine.. he then proceeds to tell me to "choose something interesting like cherry vanilla strawberry raspberry sprite" and films me decide what i want.

but i didnt really want something like cherry vanilla strawberry raspberry sprite, i just wanted root beer, which he seemed slightly disappointed by, and then he stopped filming and left.

and thus, i was bought a drink at Bskis by a strange man at 1am.

Phones and Windows

so i was in my car driving around my neighborhood with my windows down when i got a phone call.

i was looking out the window at some person walking by as i answered, and when i said hey to the person on the phone, the person walking next to my car smiled and waved and said hey back.

i kind of gave her a weird look then realized that she thought i was talking to her, so i then tried to wave to her, but ended up fumbling the phone and not waving back at all and it was awkward.

Singing

so i was going to my friends house and i was listening to a cd on my way there, and i got there and parked my car and such.

i liked the song that had just played, so as i was walking up her driveway i was singing it pretty loudly to myself since no one else was outside.

i get all the way up her driveway and front walkway (and all the way through the first stanza of the song)...and i look up her steps shes like "hey!" from the top of the steps standing outside.

and i jump and make a super weird surprised noise at seeing her and pretend as though it wasnt me (the only person outside....) singing loudly and poorly to this random song as i walk into her house.

Classic: Bed Posts

so one day, im napping in the room with the door open a crack and the lights off in the middle of the afternoon.

and from outside i hear someone shout "housseeeekeeeeeping" in a super duper southern old man sort of accent. so i of course am just like haha someones trying to annoy their friend or something so theyre pretending to be housekeeping.. great, ill just keep napping.

but then it gets louder and i hear, in the same accent, someone shout "bed posts!!" (which sounds like beeeh  pos) and i start to wonder what direction exactly this prank is going...

however, at this point, my dorm room door opens and two huge dudes with beards and torn jeans and such walk into my room. i kinda freak out a little since i was sleeping and not expecting anyone to come into the room and i have no idea who these people are at all. i also dont have my glasses on so i cant tell if i know them and im still half asleep and there are two strange guys in my room, so i just sorta of stare at them weirdly as they stand in the doorway.

after a moment of staring at each other, one of the guys said "i have your bed posts"

i didnt really know what to say, since my bed seemed to have all the bed posts it needed i just sort of agreed to the statement and stared, still trying to decide if this was some weird joke from two people who had walked into the wrong room by accident.

at which point, my roommate finally came into the room and took the bed posts from outside the door, and reminded me that at the beginning of the year we had asked for new bed posts, which i clearly had forgotten.

and then i felt kinda bad for staring at them so uncomfortably, even though they were bringing our room the bed posts it had requested..ha, good joke wit ma beeeh pos housekeepin' !

Work Buddies

so yesterday i was in the grocery store with some friends and i saw this guy that i had worked with all last year and over the summer at the bagel place.

he was at the register and i was walking by and he and i made eye contact, so i waved. however, right as i waved he looked away, so i was standing with my friends waving awkwardly to the back of someones head.

at this point normal people would probably just keep walking and pretend like it didnt happen, but being sad that he didnt see my wave i decided to express my sadness out loud by saying "aww, bummer..." at which point all the people around me noticed that i was now waving to no one.

maybe he was pretending not to know me...in which case, thats understandable.

Oh, hey

so today, i was walking with my family back to our car and i saw a girl i know hanging out with a guy on the way back. and i have not talked to this girl in approximately 7 years, and when i did talk to her, she didnt like me very much. i once called her and when i was like hey its me! and said my name, she didn't recognize my name even though we had gone to hebrew school and seen each other twice a week, plus hung out at random events for about 2 years together.

anyway, so i kind of stared her down to the point where we both were forced to acknowledge each other. but then we were that awkward distance where there was still a lot of space between our two groups of people, so we are forced to have an awkward interaction from a distance where we needed to have a lot to talk about to make it less weird.

but instead we have this:

her: "uh.. hey"
me: "hey"
loooong pause as we slowly start to walk past them.
me: "how are you?"
her: "good"
long pause as we walk all the way by.

we did not say bye. i dont think we really missed each other...

HS States

so at high school states for frisbee, i was staying at a friends parents house.

i had never met them before so we are all being introduced and shaking hands with everyone else and doing other normal meeting things.

so by the time i go to shake their hands, they are both standing the same distance away from me, so i dont know whose hand to reach for first.

so i just sort of stick my hand out to both of them at the same time.

and so they both grabbed my hand at the same time and i didnt really know what to do since i had never met either of these people before today and now i was awkwardly holding both their hands at the same time while still trying to introduce myself to them.

and then i got laughed at a lot.