Eating Fruit

2 instances of fruit awkwardness:

1. i was walking through the dining hall and i made accidental eye contact with this guy. this was awkward for two reasons: one, we held this eye contact for far too long, and two, he took a huge bite of banana while we were still accidentally staring at each other.

2. i forget how loud apples are. i often bring one to class to eat for breakfast when i'm running late (essentially every day), and i eat it during class. this is especially unfortunate when he asks a question and no one knows the answer, and the only sound is me trying to quietly chew an apple, which is pretty much impossible.

Checking Books Out of Davis

i went to get a book from davis the other day, so i went up to the desk to go check it out. i walk up there, and the girl behind the desk is reading, and apparently didnt hear me walk up to the desk.

so i stand there for a minute or so, while she reads, and still doesnt see me. in order to get her attention sorta subtly, i kinda put the book down on the desk in front of her. she finally notices that im standing there and looks up at me as though i, the most boring and insignificant thing ever, am drawing her away from something amazing that she is reading, and that she just cant be bothered with whatever it is that i need.

this look surprises me so much that for a moment, i just stare back at her. i finally compose myself enough to ask "can i check this book out, please?"

she sighs, rolls her eyes, and takes my one card and is done checking the book out in about 5 seconds. she put the book back on the counter with a little here-you-go-thanks-for-bothering-me smile, and goes back to reading.

its cool, girl behind the desk, i know that taking a five second break to do the one, and essentially only, thing you have to do all day must be rough.

Gum and Poli Sci

during my class this morning i accidentally spit my gum onto my notes while trying to blow a bubble.

this would have been more fine if the dude in front of me wasn't answering a question, but since he was the teacher and half the classroom was looking in my direction.

i tried to avoid all eye contact as i put it back in my mouth and continued to chew it...

Grammer Champ Of College English

today i accidentally wore this shirt to all 3 of my english classes today:

yes english professors. i am super smart. don't even worry about it. 

Opposite Door Holding

yesterday this girl and i were walking opposite ways through a doorway into the staircase. i am in the stairwell trying to get onto the hallway and she is in the hallway trying to get on the stairs.

the door opens towards me, and so i open it and we are both standing in the way of the other person.

i apologize, and try to hold the door for her, but instead of moving to the side so that i just let her pass, i hold it across the doorway, so that for her to pass she would have to walk under my arm.. she apologizes and i move my arm, and she goes to hold the door for me, but she is leaning across the doorway to hold it, so to pass i have to squeeze in between the two inch space between her and the doorway.

we stand there for a moment, both blocking the other's way, until i finally figure out that i can just step away from the door all together, back into the stairwell and just let her pass me, so after much apologizing on both sides, we both make it where we want to go.

i need a door etiquette manual.

English Class Day One-Megan and Me

on the first day of one of my english classes we did the stereotypical find-a-partner-and-talk-to-them-so-you-meet-at-least-one-other-person-in-this-class introductions.

so everyone in the classroom turns around and to their sides and starts talking to the person next to them, except for the person next to me, so i turn to her. the professor has told us to figure out their name, major, and fun fact about them.

i turn to this girl and i'm all cheery and tell her my name, and then ask hers and shes like "megan" and i'm like "What?? Did you say Megan?" and she nods, cause everyone else is talking at normal people volume and she is whispering to me and i cant hear her at all.

now, with introducing yourself and asking questions and things to new people, you usually trade off asking questions, so since i asked the first question i thought that she would ask the next question. however, she did not, so we are sitting in silence, avoiding eye contact, until i finally give in and ask "Whats your major?" she answers again:
her: well its psychology but im also minoring in (mumblewhispermumble)
me: psychology? and what?
her: english 
me: oh. that sounds nice.

by this point i am leaning all the way over the row that separates us, ear first, and i can still barely hear her. we sit quietly again for a bit while i wait for her to ask me what my major is, but she doesnt. so i just tell her that im majoring in EXSS and minoring in spanish and english to which she just nods.

we continue to sit in silence after that, but we have one more question to answer so i ask.

me: so, any fun facts about you?
her: well actually yeah. im allergic to caffeine. 
me: caffeine?
her: yeah
me: wow, well birthday parties as a child must have sucked.
her: mhmm
me: wow.
her: yeah they originally thought i was autistic because i used to get tics and act very strange and not like normal children after drinking caffeine. 
me: ......
her: what about you?
(what can follow i'm allergic to caffeine and was falsely diagnosed with autism when i was younger?)
me: well, i play frisbee.
her: oh. i dont play sports

right... in my mind this is what my introduction of her sounds like: hi class. this is megan. shes majoring in psychology with a minor in english and she was falsely diagnosed with autism as a child.

i decide not to say this.

so we are sitting there and finally megan asks me a question.
her: so, what else do we have to find out?
me: i think just name, major and fun fact.
*silence*
her: so... do we have to keep talking?

i look around and all the other pairs are still talking.. some are laughing and making jokes, others are talking about their study abroad programs and everyone else seems to be good with conversation. everyone else seems to be having normal people conversations, except for us.

me: i dont think we have to?
her: ok.

we are going to be great friends.

Ca-CAWWW

a few weeks ago i was walking with one of my friends and we were talking about how the team i played on at ultimax used a bird call to assemble and gather people in before games. this bird call is always loud, and is always accompanied with bird-like hand/arm motions.

so we are walking into the parking deck where her car is parked, and i am describing this bird call to her. however, my description doesnt do it justice, so i look around to make sure no one is around before we walk into the parking deck and i begin to do the full bird call--hand motions included.

however, as we turn the corner into the parking deck (im still in the middle of flapping my arms and caw-ing like a phoenix) we see about 4 or 5 people waiting in silence outside of the elevator. not too surprisingly, they all are turned in my direction and looking at me since i am the only one making noise in the entire parking deck.

since i wasnt expecting to see people there i end up stopping mid-call and mid-arm flail before i realize that bird-calling in the middle of a parking deck is not socially acceptable and put my arms down and stopped ca-cawwwing.

we took the stairs.